Why you should date to marry

When two people are in a romantic relationship, their time together will end in one of two ways. Either the couple will get married or breakup, and there is no in-between. And if the latter happens, then the process repeats itself again and again until there is a different outcome. However, most people hope that they can start a marriage someday that will last. But it’s scary.

It’s scary because a relationship either ends a chapter of two people together or starts a new chapter of two people forever. Therefore, so many of us feel this intense pressure to find someone so that we will not end up alone. For many, being alone is their biggest fear in life. But dating to not be alone and dating to marry are two very different scenarios.

Love is supposed to be patient. Dating to not be alone rushes God’s process while dating to marry trusts God’s plan. Love is supposed to be kind which means “having or showing a friendly, generous, and considerate nature." Dating should not be done in a selfish manner but in a way that displays God’s commands for how we must treat each other. 

Love does not envy. Part of the reason why so many people date to not be alone is because they resent other people for being happy. They see so many “happy” couples on social media and long to be that way too. But dating to marry allows you to stop comparing your relationship to other couples in the world but to compare it to God’s love for the church. 

Love will not boast. People who do not want to be alone rush the process of dating so that their new relationship can be made “official” as soon as possible. However, changing your relationship status on Facebook and posting tons of couple pics will not guarantee forever. Dating to marry will allow you to not focus so much on the world’s approval but God’s approval of your relationship.

Finally, love is not proud, a “feeling deep pleasure or satisfaction as a result of one's own achievements, qualities, or possessions.” When you date to avoid loneliness, you pride yourself in finally finding a partner. But when we date to marry, we understand that God is the one who led us to our significant other, and it is through his provision that we have a chance to experience real love at all. 

So date to marry. Do it even though it is scary and even though it is hard. Do it regardless of what society is telling you. Do it even when you feel alone. Because if you are not dating to marry, then you dating to break up.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” 1 Corinthians 13:4 (NIV)