I’ve always had a pretty vivid imagination. I have lots of ideas running through my head that I become super excited about. But then the fear sets set in. It usually begins with me thinking “What will other people think about this?” I HATE the way this makes me feel. I become consumed with feeling intense insecurity. Then, I make a fast and furious U-turn back to my comfort zone.
My comfort zone, the same for many of you, is my safe place. It’s where I retreat when I don’t think I'm good enough, smart enough, or even Christian enough to pull something off. I accept self-defeat and enter a place of self-pity. I have somehow subconsciously decided that not liking myself is easier than facing the opinions of others. But I sell myself (and my ideas) short because I abort the mission as soon as I get uncomfortable.
Not too long ago, I did this. I had a big idea, and I even went as far as to get the ball rolling. But only a few hours in, I began to panic and feel dumb for having the idea in the first place. So, I tried* to undo it and pretend like it never happened which is pretty hilarious because nothing is ever actually deleted from the internet.
I hoped that people wouldn’t think too much about it. After all, I usually fly pretty low below the radar. I forced myself to “forget” about it as the night went on. Then, I got a text from my sister hours later. An anonymous donor (whom I have never met before) donated $500 for my puppy’s surgery. SOMEONE DONATED FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS TO ME? WOAH.
A sweet person read my story about being a broke college student struggling with anxiety who got a pup to try to make herself happy and thought “I can relate.” Y’all, I cried. Not that crying for me is rare or anything- I'm definitely a crier. But still. It was the sweetest, kindest gesture that I have experienced in a long time, and I just know it was God’s way of saying “Serenity, I’ve got this.”
Within a week, my GoFundMe page raised enough money to cover my pup’s surgery. I still get chills just thinking about it. I tried to back out. I tried to convince myself that I wasn’t worthy of grace and blessings. But God stepped in and sent a sweet soul my way to remind me that there are still good people in the world. And this can happen to you too! Don’t abandon an idea because of what other people might think. They will have an opinion on you regardless. Put yourself out there and see what God can do.
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